The Anxiety That Hid in My Achievements

Throughout undergrad, I earned straight As. I volunteered. I stayed busy. On the surface, everything looked perfect. Inside, I felt empty. My chest tightened. My mind raced endlessly. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t slow down. And I didn’t know how to ask for help. 

Most days, I ran on adrenaline and to-do lists. I colour-coded my planner like my life depended on it, because in a way, it did. If I kept moving, I wouldn’t have to feel the weight behind it all. I was falling apart, but every accomplishment masked the growing storm. 

For me, this was high‑functioning anxiety. 

Why High-Achieving Students Often Don’t See it 

Schools praise productivity and achievement. Straight As, full schedules and packed resumes look like strength. But these markers can mask real struggles. You can appear strong while suffering inside. 

Many high achievers experience anxiety but never ask for help. A Harvard Business Review article, How High Achievers Overcome Their Anxiety, reports that achievement often hides internal worry. It describes high performers who battle constant fear of failure or criticism, yet keep it hidden behind success. 

When anxiety is hidden behind excellence, it’s easy to mislabel internal blocks as laziness or indifference. That mislabel fuels shame. Shame deepens silence. Silence intensifies anxiety. And this loop often ends with exhaustion, or burnout, when the mask slips. 

Expert insight: Resilience isn’t perfection, it’s recovery 

Dr. Diana Brecher is a clinical psychologist and the scholar-in-residence for positive psychology at Toronto Metropolitan University. She is also the creator of ThriveTMU, a program designed to integrate resilience-building into student life through workshops, campus initiatives and curriculum ​​support​​​​     ​​. 

“For some students, high achievement is a way of coping with anxiety,” Brecher said in our interview. “If you come as close to perfection as you can, there’s not much room left for criticism. That can feel like a solution for some, even if it’s not sustainable.” 

Brecher emphasized that not all anxious students are high-achieving, and not all high-achievers are anxious, but the overlap exists, particularly among those with social anxiety. 

“It’s an adaptive strategy in the short term,” she said. “But it can work against you because perfection isn’t always possible. And when we fall short, we often turn that judgment inward.” 

Early warning signs 

Perfectionism and overachievement can mask a variety of deeper emotional struggles, she noted. Sometimes, it stems from internal anxiety. Other times, it’s influenced by the people around us, group project leaders, friends, partners or even parents who set impossibly high standards. 

“You may have the best intentions, but when you hold others to the same impossibly high standards you set for yourself, it can create distance and strain in your relationships,” she said. “In trying to stay in control, you might unintentionally sabotage other goals, like enjoying the process, or collaborating meaningfully.” 

Self-worth on shaky ground 

According to Brecher, tying self-worth to external performance is risky, especially if those validating you are perfectionists themselves. 

“You could be working with a teacher, boss or even a partner whose standards are never satisfied,” she said. “What happens to your sense of self when you’re not performing?” 

She warned that chasing the next project or achievement just to feel good about yourself can become a loop. “It’s a treadmill,” she said. “You start believing you can only feel good if you’ve done your absolute best every time, and that’s exhausting.” 

Brecher encourages cultivating a growth mindset, where curiosity and effort matter more than flawless outcomes. “If you have a fixed mindset, you won’t take risks. You won’t try something new because you’re afraid of not being good at it.” 

Building real resilience 

To counter this, Brecher has spent nearly a decade building ThriveTMU, a program that helps students foster what she calls the five pillars of resilience: mindfulness, gratitude, optimism, self-compassion and perseverance. 

“Each is like a piece of a puzzle,” she said. “Over time, students can build these into their lives and learn to bounce back more easily.” 

She distinguished her work from the concept of “micro-resilience,” a term coined by Bonnie St. John and Allen Haines, which refers to strategies for handling everyday setbacks. Brecher’s approach takes a broader view, combining psychological tools with mindset shifts. 

“If something goes wrong, many people default to self-blame,” she said. “They spend all their energy beating themselves up, instead of regrouping. But learning self-compassion, and how to think like an optimist, helps people recover more quickly.” 

She also pointed to work by resilience scholar Michael Ungar, who defines resilience as both internal and external: personal coping skills and the support systems around us. “He comes at it from a social work perspective,” Brecher said. “It’s multi-systemic. You can’t talk about only internal resilience if someone has lost their housing or doesn’t have enough to eat.” 

In that light, Brecher said, cultivating resilience isn’t just a personal project, it’s also about ensuring environments and institutions are supportive and inclusive. 

Universal design matters. Social conditions matter. But on the individual level, there are still things we can do, things we can practice, to unhook our sense of worth from achievement alone,” said Brecher.  

Students looking to build that kind of inner resilience can explore resources like ThriveTMU, which offers wellness strategies and mental health tools, or Thriving in Action Online, which promotes sustainable success through self-awareness, reflection and holistic learning strategies designed to promote stamina and wellbeing.  

How Anxiety Hides Behind Achievement 

High‑functioning anxiety can look like: 

• Obsessive perfectionism 

• Needing constant validation 

• Busyness disguised as productivity 

• Difficulty relaxing even after tasks are done 

• Deep fatigue despite external success 

You’re not lazy or unmotivated. You’re wired to perform, even when your body says stop. 

The Weight of Identity 

For me, high-functioning anxiety was tangled up in my identity.  

I learned early to be hyper-independent, to hide my struggles so I wouldn’t burden anyone. To admit anxiety felt like admitting failure, not just to myself but to the generations before me who sacrificed for this chance. 

This meant my anxiety didn’t just live in my mind; it lived in my sense of self. The fear of disappointing others, the drive to prove my worth and the shame of not being “enough” were inseparable from every grade, every project, every volunteer hour. 

I know many of you reading this carry similar weights, from culture, family or expectations. That makes this anxiety harder to name and even harder to seek help for. But it doesn’t make it less real. 

Finding Balance: What Helps with High‑Functioning Anxiety 

Living with high-functioning anxiety means navigating pressure that others often don’t see. The good news is that there are strategies that can help you manage the weight, find relief and regain control. 

1. Name it and normalize it 
Understanding what you’re experiencing is the first step. Research shows that simply recognizing anxiety and its patterns can reduce its power over you.  

2. Set boundaries around work and rest 
Research indicates that establishing clear boundaries between academic responsibilities and personal time can significantly reduce burnout and stress among university students. One study found that both the ability and willingness to maintain flexible boundaries between work and study roles were associated with lower levels of burnout and higher levels of study engagement.  

For me, learning to schedule breaks and say no to additional commitments, even when it felt uncomfortable, was essential for protecting my mental health. 

3. Redefine productivity and success 

Achievement doesn’t have to mean sacrificing your well-being. I had to relearn that doing “enough” was okay. Research shows that shifting focus from perfection to progress helps reduce stress and maintain motivation over time. This mindset supports sustainable success without burnout. 

A Message to Readers 

To anyone reading this who has hidden anxiety behind productivity: 

You are not alone. 

Your drive is valid. Your worry is valid. The weight you carry is real, but it doesn’t have to be permanent. 

You can find balance. You can heal. You can succeed without falling apart.